I'm probably not the only one that didn't find the recent teen-vampire romance movies either attractive or entertaining. Those vampires were just too vanilla. Too designer sculpted to be appealing to an audience of adolescents.

Okay, so here's the180-degree flip of the compass: the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, with three hot bods and a bucket of blood. That's Anna Paquin (from X-Men), her fiance Stephen Moyer (with the strategically placed hand), and co-star Alexander Skarsgard.

Right. Why didn't we think of this before? You get Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderas and Winona Ryder in a studio, lay down half a dozen garbage bags -- those big orange ones, big enough to pack half the garden after you've been busy with the weed whackers and chainsaws), and two buckets of blood, and you chuck the buckets over them.

Uh huh. Notice how none of the blood got on Anna's makeup, or in her hair? Now, if we could only figure out how to chuck two (or three) buckets of blood all over Brad, Antoni and Winona, and keep it out of their hair, and off their faces...

Want more on this? Indulge yourself right here.

I have one more question to ask. Who cleans the floor when the session's finished and the rest of the crew have gone home?

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